During one of my regular visits to the throne, I was playing up my imagination. What if when I step out, a monstrous wolf (similar to the beast in Lady in the Water) appears before me? What will I do?
Decision 1.
Slowly remove my slippers and start towards the door. When the monster leaps, make a quick turn for the stairs and run up.
Decision 2. (if the monster pounces me while I remove my slippers)
Make a circular downward punch (with all my strength plus some body twist and knee bending to add power) to the floor timing it when the monster's skull is inside my path of attack. This, hopefully, will crush its skull against the floor.
Now, thinking over it, I got the following scenarios:
Scenario 1.
I run away and hide in my room.
Scenario 2.
I kill the wolf (and proclaim myself Beowulf... hehehe)
Scenario 3.
I get eaten.
Scenario 4.
I kill the wolf and it turns out that it was there to play with me. It turns out it is my old pet that I have forgotten.
Scenario 5.
I get pounced for my slow reaction and get licked. It turns out it is my old pet that I have forgotten.
Decisions and possible consequences. Who will be the lucky one? We can only find out in the end when it may be too late.
Showing posts with label potty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label potty. Show all posts
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Male bathroom etiquette
I found this from another blog: bathroomblogfest.blogspot.com and searched it through youtube.
It is about the proper behavior of every male in a rest room.
The makers of the video can be visited on their website at Zarathustra Studios.
It is about the proper behavior of every male in a rest room.
The makers of the video can be visited on their website at Zarathustra Studios.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Potty time - be sure to wake up early
How should someone ensure that he or she wakes up early?
1. The alarm clock. -if you have an alarm clock or an alarm on your mobile phone even, set it up to alert you at the time you want to wake up and voila! you are up! On the downside, one can get used to the sound and dismiss it as a dream and hold on to slumberland.
2. The television. -some televisions have wake-up functions. Simply set the time of the television to the time you currently have then set the television to turn on at the time you prefer. Some TV's allow users to indicate which channel the tv should tune in to when it turns on. I set mine to the MTV channel with volume at 30. It is a shattering waker-upper.
3. Sleep early. -our body clocks will wake us up after our usual sleeping period, say 6 hours. The bad thing is, sleeping at 8 might wake you up at 3. He he he.
4. Commit yourself to a blissful rest. -take a position, usually laid flat on your back, then concentrate to relax the whole part of your body. After all, sleep is the time when your body is in its resting mode. Unless you dream of something exciting, you will wake up to any alarm you set.
5. Make yourself uncomfortable. -this usually works during summers. This can be done in different ways: (1) Cool down your room to a comfortable temperature using your air conditioner. Just before you sleep, turn off the air conditioner and sleep. At around 4am, the room is warm enough to annoy you to wake up. (2) Turn on the electric fan but tilt it upwards to that the air only brushes you. Lie still until you get comfortable enough to sleep. At around 4am, you will get the same result as with the air conditioner... a sweaty annoying waker-upper. (3) Turn on the fan, this time allow the air to hit you directly. For analog timers, set the timer of your fan to shut down after the most number of hours, usually 2 hours. For digital timers, set the fan to turn off at least 1 hour before your planned waking time. All these will wake you up 100% annoyed, sweaty, and in bad temper. But hey, you are up and that is all that matters.
Have a nice day!
1. The alarm clock. -if you have an alarm clock or an alarm on your mobile phone even, set it up to alert you at the time you want to wake up and voila! you are up! On the downside, one can get used to the sound and dismiss it as a dream and hold on to slumberland.
2. The television. -some televisions have wake-up functions. Simply set the time of the television to the time you currently have then set the television to turn on at the time you prefer. Some TV's allow users to indicate which channel the tv should tune in to when it turns on. I set mine to the MTV channel with volume at 30. It is a shattering waker-upper.
3. Sleep early. -our body clocks will wake us up after our usual sleeping period, say 6 hours. The bad thing is, sleeping at 8 might wake you up at 3. He he he.
4. Commit yourself to a blissful rest. -take a position, usually laid flat on your back, then concentrate to relax the whole part of your body. After all, sleep is the time when your body is in its resting mode. Unless you dream of something exciting, you will wake up to any alarm you set.
5. Make yourself uncomfortable. -this usually works during summers. This can be done in different ways: (1) Cool down your room to a comfortable temperature using your air conditioner. Just before you sleep, turn off the air conditioner and sleep. At around 4am, the room is warm enough to annoy you to wake up. (2) Turn on the electric fan but tilt it upwards to that the air only brushes you. Lie still until you get comfortable enough to sleep. At around 4am, you will get the same result as with the air conditioner... a sweaty annoying waker-upper. (3) Turn on the fan, this time allow the air to hit you directly. For analog timers, set the timer of your fan to shut down after the most number of hours, usually 2 hours. For digital timers, set the fan to turn off at least 1 hour before your planned waking time. All these will wake you up 100% annoyed, sweaty, and in bad temper. But hey, you are up and that is all that matters.
Have a nice day!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Potty time - healthy waking
There are times that we wake up later than planned that we eventually jump off our beds and run around the house trying to be in the office or in school on time.
My teacher in high school once told me that one should wake up slow.
Jumping off from bed from a restful sleep is similar to taking your car into a screeching start early in the morning. Repeating this practice quite often will lead to an unscheduled overhaul of your car's engine.
The same thing happens to our hearts when we jump off our beds. From a peaceful pace, the heart is forced to beat faster in the blink of an eye when we jump off excitedly. Like the car engine, do this more often and you'll need an open heart surgery sooner that expected.
Have a healthy day!
My teacher in high school once told me that one should wake up slow.
Jumping off from bed from a restful sleep is similar to taking your car into a screeching start early in the morning. Repeating this practice quite often will lead to an unscheduled overhaul of your car's engine.
The same thing happens to our hearts when we jump off our beds. From a peaceful pace, the heart is forced to beat faster in the blink of an eye when we jump off excitedly. Like the car engine, do this more often and you'll need an open heart surgery sooner that expected.
Have a healthy day!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Potty time - gender equality
The best times to think about wild, crazy ideas is when we are having alone time in the toilet. Unless you have a paper or a book to keep you relaxed, potty time is one of the most serene times in our lives when we can come up with big things or solutions to our problems.
One of the ideas that propped up my mind during potty time is the concept of gender equality.
It is said that a woman alone is as capable as a man by himself.
That may be true for others but not for most women.
Below is an ugly graph comparing what I refer to as the "security barrier" of a man and a woman.
man - ####################
woman - ############
Alone, a man has a large security barrier around him for protection. And alone, a woman only has around 60% security barrier compared to a man. Please note that the percentages are just speculative and not actually based on some bad-assed study.
Now, together, this is the result:
man - ################
woman - ################
A man walking or in the presence of a woman unconsciously shares his security barrier with the woman creating an equality of strengths. This may lessen the man's barrier but it also increases the woman's leading to the conclusion that there is no equality in gender when each is alone but one exists when both are together.
That was why marriage, or any form of union of two beings, is among the most coveted practices around the world. A woman does not need to prove she can live alone to be on equal footing with a man. All she's got to do is marry him or have a relationship with him.
So, girls, what are you waiting for? Steal of the men's "security barrier."
Promote love and bring in gender equality.
One of the ideas that propped up my mind during potty time is the concept of gender equality.
It is said that a woman alone is as capable as a man by himself.
That may be true for others but not for most women.
Below is an ugly graph comparing what I refer to as the "security barrier" of a man and a woman.
man - ####################
woman - ############
Alone, a man has a large security barrier around him for protection. And alone, a woman only has around 60% security barrier compared to a man. Please note that the percentages are just speculative and not actually based on some bad-assed study.
Now, together, this is the result:
man - ################
woman - ################
A man walking or in the presence of a woman unconsciously shares his security barrier with the woman creating an equality of strengths. This may lessen the man's barrier but it also increases the woman's leading to the conclusion that there is no equality in gender when each is alone but one exists when both are together.
That was why marriage, or any form of union of two beings, is among the most coveted practices around the world. A woman does not need to prove she can live alone to be on equal footing with a man. All she's got to do is marry him or have a relationship with him.
So, girls, what are you waiting for? Steal of the men's "security barrier."
Promote love and bring in gender equality.
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